He once was friend of mine who needed me all the time How far would I be willing to go to pull him back from the edge to try to put him at ease or talk him off the ledge I had to keep him alive I did whatever he pleased So maybe that would guarantee that I’d be loved She seemed like a safer bet, akin to a marionette How far would I be willing to go just to escape my own head, or to try shift the mode Some fight or flight like response had left my body for dead I tried to feign nonchalance Oh, maybe that would guarantee that I’d be loved We both fell in love on stage Still teens, no longer underage How far would I be willing to go to feel the warmth of her bed, to feel a part of her home When she was trying to bloom I only felt in the way Our kind of sweetness was doomed But had I stayed I would be guaranteed good love She seemed unapproachable, so proud, so inconsolable How far would I be willing to go to bring our creation to life, to live up to our dreams, and cut myself down to size We came apart at the seams But I would never dare say I thought it guaranteed that I could not be saved I longed for her long before our paths crossed an open door How far would I be willing to go for us to both reinvent One day I just couldn’t tell her heartbeats from my own And I thought to myself, I’ve gone and done it again She was the greatest love that I had ever known Turns out it wasn’t enough I longed to live in the dream of everything I could be, and she still echoed a world I thought I wanted to flee And though she always guaranteed that I’d be loved I let it all go I turned it all down There was nothing to discuss Although I took all her time trying to give up on us, give up the greatest guarantee that I’d be loved He would have been four by now Our son, if he was around How far would I be willing to go to not be weighed down by love, to never have to say no I’d pull myself from the edge to put my baby at ease I’d talk myself off the ledge If maybe that would guarantee that I’d be loved

In the dead of the night, the dead of the night All has been done before Every possible shape Every human position Every euphoric decent and impossible mission in the dead of the night The dead of the night Every horror, every blow Every transcendent sensory overload All good faith shaken All that hard-earned trust forsaken in the dead of the night The dead of the night And you’re watching Every use of the body, each and every combination, in the shape of someone else’s imagination The dead of the night Every footprint, every limb Under the ladder where the stars grow dim in the dead of the night Every killer and missionary Every fuckboy beauty or sweet tooth Mary Every language of love Every lack of response from the moon up above Every bodily fluid and the way that we blend Every collapse of the heart when two poor souls meet their end in the dead of the night And you’re watching We’re living in the dead of the night in the hope that we might inspire another ending We’re living in the dead of the night in the hope that we might inspire another ending In the dead of the night The dead of the night Stop time, stop time Stop time, stop time Every set of lies and false equivalence Every theory of conspiracy is someone else’s common sense Every murder and conception Every inevitable rejection Every sly and selfish lover Every dreamboat undercover Every timeless art you picked up too late Every subtle hint, every reckless bait Intoxicated hope and intuition cannot will my love into fruition in the dead of the night The dead of the night We think we’ve seen it all but we’re not at all original So precious on our walk of shame past the priests who cast their blame Our hesitation wearing thin and the scent of desperation seeping from my skin Every power balance turned around Every night spent scrolling without a sound Our souls vibrate, our senses kneel Our great escape, our chance to heal Every thirsty eye, every tie that binds Every cry of passion, every almost crime All the city sleeps, and all the city shines, but for that moment when we stopped time In the dead of the night The dead of the night In the dead of the night The dead of the night Stop time, stop time for me, honey Stop time, stop for me This is fake blood, and we were mixing it with real blood And we mix it and mix it and mix it and mix it and Fake blood, real to me And we mix it and mix it and mix it and mix it and mix it and mix it Real blood! And we’re watching We’re watching We’re the dead of the night The dead of the night We’re the dead of the night The dead of the night Stop time, stop for me Stop

My face needed sunlight, you walked in the room Fair skin of compassion, spring flowers in bloom You and I met before this, in some other space But tonight we saw colours erupt in new ways Impossible lovers, I suppose we all are Perhaps you seduced me It wasn’t so hard Two comfortable strangers, no longer apart Our bodies had warned us not to wake up the heart Will we ever comprehend what was set in motion way back then? You had your hands tied but you could use mine You tried leaning way back and redrew the line Clandestine hotel rooms Away in the shade Awash in new colours erupting in new ways You turned hesitation into a dark art And my inspiration awoke with a start I’m free as the landscapes you conquer in dreams I know you’re itching to follow, that you’re swallowing screams Will we ever comprehend what was set in motion way back then? So how can you love me, you asked with your eyes under cover of darkness and street lights that shine I pulled you in tighter As we intertwined I said, will I ever convince you my love isn’t a lie? You said, love is a moment and it can extend and falter and alter and wither and bend It’s all things unspoken it’s all things revealed it’s there when our lips touch it’s what they conceal How you’re an old spirit, the rarest of birds And how you are tender when you greet the world You can’t help but find me You reel me back in when I try to let go or be gone with the wind We cannot un-see this, but will you dare stay to feel every colour erupt in our way? Cause it’s happening again, we keep failing to embrace the end Will we ever comprehend what was set in motion way back then?

Who’s that creature pulling shapes in the dark? A moving shadow at the edge of the park Under cover of soft winds and summer rain Two heads, two hearts, two sets of body parts Who are those creatures, so reckless and bold? Making love like it’s made of gold No one here but two fearless souls that delve into something they become when they leave themselves Roll the camera Pull in tighter Watch their faces as they come alive Cue the music Get in closer And then walk away If you can walk away Cut! Who are those creatures when they’re afraid? When they abandon the gold they made When they flee the scene of the crime at dawn, and return the next night making love on the lawn We make no sense, we make such a mess We get so drunk with powerlessness and so hooked on offering everyone else the very same escape we deny ourselves Roll the camera Pull in tighter Watch our faces as we come alive Cue the music Hold me closer And then walk away If you can walk away Cut! «This isn’t happening, don’t get no ideas! We’re in a scene, it’s not you, it’s not me» It was easy enough to call our bluff, but I felt truly insane jumping off that train How did we do it? How did we stop? As we lay motionless in the grass you could hear a pin drop and the silent storm in our chests subsiding, hiding two exploding hearts colliding Let’s keep rolling Let it happen Say «I love you» like the camera does Kiss each other in slow motion And then walk away If you can walk away Roll the camera Pull in tighter One last close-up if we still have time Kill the music Kill the moment And then walk away If you can walk away Cut!

The sound of sirens carry across town, from your new corner of LA and all the way to mine Some lovers remain connected long after love was rejected My character has broken the fourth wall Turns out I’m sentimental after all The grass still greener on the other side The sea of blue, the darkened sky surrender to the tide Our love was so unexpected Its gentle steps undetected Now you’re the only song I can recall Appearing anywhere my shadows fall Turns out I’m sentimental after all In my cold independence bed I hide and reminisce, from our first kiss to our last of many goodbyes We tried so hard to move on but I got lost when you found someone I asked for this, nothing could break my fall I broke my own heart, slammed it against the wall only to find what’s obvious to all Turns out I’m sentimental to a fault

What makes me tick I’m becoming the other man Red O across my sleeve in public when I grieve cause I can’t even reach for your hand I’m wasted And you’re in control until we are alone and then and only then do I know What makes me tick Desire’s a sickening joy It’s so hard-won when I must get gone every time he’s again a good boy I’m wasted And he’s in control, I suppose that’s not so But then and only then do I know what makes me tick What makes me tick Your eyes as they’re dressing me down And holding on to each breath buried within you when we’re finally going to town I’m wasted And I can’t perform, I’ve no dance, I’ve no song And then and only then do I know what makes me tick What makes me tick What makes me tick is failing to safeguard my heart against your heartfelt advice and to no one’s surprise I’m constantly waiting in line I’m wasted And out of control now that we are on hold I’m circling the drain, I am popping champagne I want it so bad that I’m fine being had And then and only then do I know what makes me tick What makes me tick You’re it, you’re it What makes me tick

My love still waits in the wings I’m watching from across the street We fell asleep two blocks apart, retracing every kiss that went unnoticed Oh, though I know how we touched souls Well as I know how I’m spoiled to let go of love Here we are, in the still of the night, alone New love awaits in the wings Discreetly, we move to distract Discovering a world apart, forgetting we’re two broken hearts in mending Oh, we were almost touching souls I thought I knew what it meant to let go of love Now I do Here I am, without you, alone My love still waits in the wings It lingers like the constant chord the city hums just like before Tried seeing someone new, I never felt so see-thru Though it was much like touching souls Almost like love, for a moment, but I let go Here we are, in the still of the night In the wings, taking flight, alone

Who do you see when you close your eyes? Is that a part of me or part of the disguise? Ecstatic moments reduced to this Is it a remedy or is it the abyss? We knew the danger we rose above And for a second we were avatars of love We came very close, and yet not very far Could we ever be more than an avatar? Avatar, avatar of love We picked our poisons, composed ourselves Embodying the passions wasting on our shelves All that excitement, long bottled up Our insides poured into a flooded paper cup We fit the moment just like a glove And for an instance became avatars of love We came very close, and yet not very far Frozen in our history as avatars Avatars of love Release the pigeons! Release the doves! It doesn’t matter what you call it, it’s not love We came very close, and yet not very far We’re not even fit to be an avatar Avatar, avatar, avatar of love So who are we, lost in the stars? We’re only flesh and smoke and mirrors from afar This little trigger, a glitch in time A song to tip the scale as we turn on a dime Play all of ‘folklore’ and all of ‘Blue’ Play half of ‘evermore’ and all of ‘Down To You’ Play ‘Sunset Village’ Play ‘Multitudes’ Play every take on ‘In A Sentimental Mood’ ‘Aguas de Marco’, ‘Waters Of March’ any translation, key, or read from any chart Play ‘Sherlock Holmes’ Play ‘Sacrifice’ Play ‘At The River’ and then ‘Smoke Gets In Your Eyes’ Play ‘Watertown’, I’ll be in tears ‘Slip Into Character’ performed by Britney Spears Play ‘Everytime’ and then ‘Sex Kills’ And then ‘May Later’ by the talented Blake Mills Play ‘I’ll Come Too’ by Jimmy Blake ‘A Case Of You’ in any tapping you can take Now play ‘The Kiss’ by Judee Sill Play ‘Jesus’ Blood’, play Lady Day sings ‘You’re My Thrill’ Play ‘Left Alone’ or ‘Omen 3’ ‘If You Could See Me Now’ by Chet or Peggy Lee Play ‘Signs’ by Drake or ‘Signs’ by Snoop Play every single damn Disintegration Loop Then play our song before we pause It’s now the saddest little song there ever was We came very close...close! Play it for Pete and Polly, too Play it for anyone who fell in love with you We came very close, and yet not very far Who are we in real life if not avatars? But who were those two kissing underneath the stars? Avatars, avatars of love

New Year’s Eve I’ve kept my options open I’m spread out on the floor, snacking on what’s leftover and hoping for hopeless things once more Summer in reverse what a blessing, what a curse, for better or for worse We should get together every summer and make each other miserable all fall Or can you only love me in the summer, or never at all? New Year’s Day I’m still weighing my options I dozed off on the floor, sorting through receipts and bygone omens of nights I still long for Summer in reverse what a blessing, what a curse, for better or for worse We should get together every summer and make each other miserable all fall Or can you only love me in the summer? What a bummer, oh Maybe we should try again this winter Forget about the fall Or can you only love me in the summer, or never at all? If we only had all the time I’d write you a shorter letter and explain myself better I know what you did to me last summer And I don’t give a fuck about the fall But if you only loved me in the summer, did you love me at all? Maybe we should try again this winter Forget about the fall Or can you only... oh fuck, what a bummer! Here comes summer in reverse

Now she sleeps beside me, in a lush four poster castle We were taking turns exhaling Two exhausted bodies flailing Just a minute before this moment Now I cannot bear the thought of going home Now she sleeps beside me I’m a visitor as of lately We were in a poem, darkly lit In a secret that we couldn’t quit A minute before this moment Now I wonder if she’ll ever let me stay Now she sleeps beside me A dark night of stolen glances We were blending with our alibis, and hoping we won’t need them I just wonder if I’ll get beyond a mere minute before this moment’s also gone Now she sleeps beside me and I try my best to let her be A world rests on her shoulders Her people need her kindness Just a minute before this moment she was pouring me an endless cup Now she sleeps beside me Or perhaps she’s just pretending Two performative wild creatures We were hanging in the balance Just a minute before this moment Now it’s obvious a spell is cast on me Now she sleeps beside me A pale flamethrower in hiding I’m a new man every time we meet I skip home, sunrise at my feet Our virtue is to be discreet Though we know each moment inch Now she sleeps beside me She just made me forget everything I fled when she invited me Her lips longed to confide in me She’s morbid and hilarious Her heart must beat vicariously through me Now she sleeps beside me We have drifted off a dozen times to the edge of fantasising When she wakes up we are fated to become dream lovers of the past or embrace the fire and rise up from the ash Now she sleeps beside me Though she’s sleeping next to someone else She suffers in a silent way And I have barely slept for days But maybe we’re just meant to be the unfinished poem whispered in our sleep

Baby, what happened here You made me fall so fast into the stratosphere, away from all that’s passed Oh baby, I’m over it and onto something new, doing the things you did to me to some poor other dreamer Everything that I should want and everything I say I need It’s nothing like the rollercoaster we rode It’s outrageous, we had too much fun We’ve got special needs and everything’s about to come undone Baby, I wanted you to disturb me in my grief And maybe you wanted to surrender to a thief Oh baby, forgive me for the sin of wanting more It’s all too beautiful to me in my imagination Everything that I could want, not everything I say I need, but all the things we never got around to It’s outrageous, we had too much fun We’ve got special needs and everything’s about to come undone Baby, what do we do with our hopes and all our dreams when everything comes true at once with idiotic timing? Everything that we could want and everything we really need But everything’s so dangerous, so right in front of us It’s outrageous, we had all the fun We’ve got special needs and everything’s about to come undone

On the other side of ecstasy is another night of agony And I cannot for the life of me imagine turning you down or you coming around On the other side of ecstasy is rejection whispered tenderly and I cannot wait to turn you on and then turn myself off the moment you’re gone to the other side of ecstasy, to the only place where we truly exist On the other side of ecstasy is the opposite of fancy-free and another guy as foolishly convinced you could be the one as I had become On the other side of ecstasy is another juicy part for me I can’t wait to sink my teeth into all the scenery we’ll chew until our play is through to the other side of ecstasy, to the only place where we truly On the other side of ecstasy is another broken heart or three is another boundless love affair is another level of despair is another ache, another song of sweet projections all gone wrong, is another life you plunder through and another other man onto the other side of ecstasy, to the only place where you and me exist On the other side of ecstasy is another love not meant to be Still I cannot for the life of me imagine turning you down in case you’re coming around for another night of ecstasy for another night of ecstasy

Last night I realised I had lost your love I rejected all that you gave to me but I could not bring myself to close the door In a playlist you found new love songs to sing Now the two of us are just memories, as you stretch beyond my reach to close the door so finally I’ll grasp the magnitude of love In a pool of my regrets I’ll be fighting with myself for your love Am I ever gonna shake it? Am I ever gonna make it without your love? Now I picture your eyes and your newfound love I have also studied a stranger’s face for the strength of force it takes to close the door But it only made me miss you more In a pool of my regrets I’ll be fighting with myself for your love Am I ever gonna shake it? Am I ever gonna make it without your love?

Alone in the night with only the thought of you, the stars that come into view Do I know you by heart? When we are apart, how are you so near to me? So vivid, so clear to me Like I know you by heart When you want me like I want you We’re defenceless to our senses, to ourselves But in hindsight, beyond the moonlight, at the merciless break of dawn, will we awake and love move on? Our memories slip through the hands of time, like stars, eclipsed in the dark, all alone in the night? Alone in the night when you’re making love to me we know love instinctively Don’t you know me by heart? When you love me like I love you We’re defenceless to our senses, to our souls But in hindsight, in the twilight at the merciless break of dawn, will we awake, and love move on? Our memories slip through the hands of time, like stars, eclipsed in the dark like you and I, all alone in the night? Alone in the night how will you remember us? If your memory turns to dust, will you know me by heart?

What good is serenading from beyond our grave? What good are songs of longing and sentimental waves that suddenly wash over me, insisting I was wrong I’ll forgive you for confusing the singers with the song But lately everywhere I’ll hear a tune I thought I knew They come and go just as they damn well please Sometimes so unexpected, sometimes as if on cue But every song that gets to me is somehow about you Won’t you play it again Play it again «Some Small Hope» «Some Small Hope» Play it again, won’t you play it again for me «Some Small Hope» «Some Small Hope» Won’t you play it again Won’t you play it again for me For me and Sunset Tower in the rain Play it again Won’t you play it again for me and Sunset Tower in the rain What good is serenading? What else is there to do? When every song inside of me is somehow still about you